# 150
Obedience and respect for authority.
The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period.
# 900
Therapy helps... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper.
Remember you wanted to do it too!
# 55
Buy Lego.
The younger you start them on legos the better!
Maybe they won't like them at all, but chances are they do.
AND if you're lucky she'll end up being a brilliant civil engineer
and will be the one building the next super ultra modern bridge
connecting Dubai with Angola or some shit!
# 422
First drink at 13, AT HOME!
First piercing at 15, ON her birthday, GO WITH HER to get it done.
First tattoo at 18, nothing too big, were her future boss CAN'T see it... while fully dressed!
First piercing at 15, ON her birthday, GO WITH HER to get it done.
First tattoo at 18, nothing too big, were her future boss CAN'T see it... while fully dressed!
# 15
Make sure that:
1-She can name at least ONE country that starts with "U".
2-She knows the countries that border the one she live in!
3-She CAN positively ID your countries founding fathers!
Ugly or pretty, no one likes a dumb chick.
1-She can name at least ONE country that starts with "U".
2-She knows the countries that border the one she live in!
3-She CAN positively ID your countries founding fathers!
Ugly or pretty, no one likes a dumb chick.
# 100
On religion: Trust in George Carlin...
For further reference also see George on the 10 commandments.
# 200
Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.
# 2
These are called children, or dependents. Never despair at your own child. Everything they do is a miracle from God. When they are bad its only because they are ‘tired’ or going through a ‘phase’. When other kids are bad, its because of indulgent parenting or innate defects in the child’s character.
# 245
Make sure to teach your child the important things in life, like GOOD MUSIC! doesn't matter if she ends up listening to fucking dembow... Just make sure she knows that it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll, that Iron man is not only a movie, that DIO doesn't only mean god in italian and that Kashmir is not just a god damned fabric!