Life is a series of doors.
Sometimes you get to choose the door you go thru but some other times you just have to accept the one is given to you and just storm thru like a fucking maniac.
#179
Learn to trust her.
Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.
Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.
#215
Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day...
Enjoy her caterpillar years.
Enjoy her caterpillar years.
#35
Always ask for her opinion, no matter if she is only 2 years old...
Even though you may not always see eye to eye, the simple act of consistently asking will help her realize her thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.
Even though you may not always see eye to eye, the simple act of consistently asking will help her realize her thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.
#27
When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
#12
At times, her actions, thought processes, feelings... or some combination of the three, will be beyond your ability to comprehend.
Don’t even try... But when in doubt... trust your heart. She already does.
Don’t even try... But when in doubt... trust your heart. She already does.
#13
Sometimes she needs you to hold on.
Other times she needs you to let go.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.
Other times she needs you to let go.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.
#161
Band t-shirts are a MUST...
Refer to rule #246, so you know what bands you should get...
Bonus points if you get matching shirts!
Refer to rule #246, so you know what bands you should get...
Bonus points if you get matching shirts!
#134
Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas.
Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together...
Then again... BIG cool gifts has never hurt anyone, AND the joy in their eyes when they see the shinny wrapping is glorious!
You can share both experiences and toys together...
Then again... BIG cool gifts has never hurt anyone, AND the joy in their eyes when they see the shinny wrapping is glorious!
You can share both experiences and toys together...
#113
Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps.
WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.
WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.
#91
Introduce them to the swings at your local park. They’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster.
Their definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours... Keep that in mind.
When they get a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to their's. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you've got.
Their definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours... Keep that in mind.
When they get a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to their's. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you've got.
#107
It is in their nature to make music.
It’s up to you to introduce them to the right instruments until they can choose on their own.
It’s up to you to introduce them to the right instruments until they can choose on their own.
#106
Lullaby...
Always and I do mean ALWAYS, sing a lullaby to your kid... That is a special bond that will never be broken,
no matter how old they get not only they will remember these songs but it can even comfort them in times of distress...
Just a few suggestions in case you don't know what to sing....
Just a few suggestions in case you don't know what to sing....
#86
Dance with her.
Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby.
Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.
Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby.
Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.
#24
NEVER miss her birthday.
In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her, she will remember if you weren’t there.
In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her, she will remember if you weren’t there.
#998
Take her camping.
Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces.
PS:
Leave the iPad at home. Bring a camera!
Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces.
PS:
Leave the iPad at home. Bring a camera!
#2000
Learn when to say no.
She may be fucking pissed today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.
She may be fucking pissed today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.
#248
It’s never too early to start teaching her about money.
She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.
She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.
#172
Save the day.
She’ll grow up looking for a hero, It might as well be you.
She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.
Gun blazing would be preferable.
She’ll grow up looking for a hero, It might as well be you.
She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.
Gun blazing would be preferable.
#706
Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.
#997
Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang
out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s
presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She
needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit
idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.
#750
#101
Mothers will be selfish about their children. This is what makes them great.
You, just breathe, say yes, and pay the bills... AND NOT A PEEP OUT THE PIE-HOLE!
You might even learn something or two this time around...
You, just breathe, say yes, and pay the bills... AND NOT A PEEP OUT THE PIE-HOLE!
You might even learn something or two this time around...
#42
When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.
#41
Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic.
Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.
Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.
#7
Savor every moment you have together.
Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle.
Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the the coolest thing ever anymore.
Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.
Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle.
Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the the coolest thing ever anymore.
Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.
#6
Teach your child that loving grandma and grandpa is very important...
But!!!!!!
It is FAR MORE IMPORTANT to teach them to ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU over them!
P.S
This should be #1...
But!!!!!!
It is FAR MORE IMPORTANT to teach them to ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU over them!
P.S
This should be #1...
#5
I'm not here to control you like a puppet... I'm just trying to show you what works and what doesn't work.
#11
Sometimes in life there will be a moment that in order to take a step forward you will need to take a few steps back.
#4
Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand.
Never forget this.
#20
Your daughter HAS to know how to change a flat tire...
A tire without air shouldn't be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.
#246
It has to be mandatory for a child to know who this people or bands are (even though you have no clue who they are) GOOGLE THEM:
Motorhead
Elvis Presley
Elton John
Madonna
Run-D.M.C.
Rush
Janis Joplin
The Doors
Matallica (James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Jason Newsted, Lars Ulrich, Cliff Burton, Robert Trujillo)
Led Zeppelin
Megadeth (Dave Mustaine, Dave Ellefson)
Neil Young
Genesis (Phil Colins, Peter Gabriel)
Rage against the machine
Neil Diamond
Ted Nungent
Alice Cooper
Red Hot Chili Peppers (Anthony Kiedis, Flea, John Frusciante, Chad Smith)
Dave Navarro
Guns N’ Roses (Axl Rose, Slash, Steven Adler, Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagan, Mat Sorum, Gilby Clarke)
The Beastie Boys
Eric Clapton
Pink Floyd
Johnny Cash
Nat “King” Cole
Queen
Michael Jackson
Aerosmith
The Ramones
The Police
Sting
David Bowie
AC/DC
ZZ Top
Bob Seger
The Beatles (George Harrison, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr)
Anthrax
The Kinks
Parliament-Funkadelic
Jefferson Airplane
Bob Dylan
U2
Frank Zappa
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Miles Davis
Blondie
Black Sabbath (Terry “Geezer” Butler, Tony Iommi, Ozzy Osbourne, Bill Ward)
Ronnie James Dio
Van Halen
Patti Smith
Slayer
Aretha Franklin
Marvin Gaye
Sepultura
R.E.M
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious
Ray Charles
James Brown
Nirvana
Stevie Wonder
Chuck Berry
Iron Maiden
Pealr Jam
B.B. King
Les Paul
Rolling Stones
The Who (Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, Bassist John Entwistle, Keith Moon)
Simon and Garfunkel
Jimi Hendrix
It will take time but you MUST do this!
The future of this godforsaken society depends ON THIS!!
# 150
Obedience and respect for authority.
The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period.
# 900
Therapy helps... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper.
Remember you wanted to do it too!
# 55
Buy Lego.
The younger you start them on legos the better!
Maybe they won't like them at all, but chances are they do.
AND if you're lucky she'll end up being a brilliant civil engineer
and will be the one building the next super ultra modern bridge
connecting Dubai with Angola or some shit!
# 422
First drink at 13, AT HOME!
First piercing at 15, ON her birthday, GO WITH HER to get it done.
First tattoo at 18, nothing too big, were her future boss CAN'T see it... while fully dressed!
First piercing at 15, ON her birthday, GO WITH HER to get it done.
First tattoo at 18, nothing too big, were her future boss CAN'T see it... while fully dressed!
# 15
Make sure that:
1-She can name at least ONE country that starts with "U".
2-She knows the countries that border the one she live in!
3-She CAN positively ID your countries founding fathers!
Ugly or pretty, no one likes a dumb chick.
1-She can name at least ONE country that starts with "U".
2-She knows the countries that border the one she live in!
3-She CAN positively ID your countries founding fathers!
Ugly or pretty, no one likes a dumb chick.
# 100
On religion: Trust in George Carlin...
For further reference also see George on the 10 commandments.
# 200
Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.
# 2
These are called children, or dependents. Never despair at your own child. Everything they do is a miracle from God. When they are bad its only because they are ‘tired’ or going through a ‘phase’. When other kids are bad, its because of indulgent parenting or innate defects in the child’s character.
# 245
Make sure to teach your child the important things in life, like GOOD MUSIC! doesn't matter if she ends up listening to fucking dembow... Just make sure she knows that it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll, that Iron man is not only a movie, that DIO doesn't only mean god in italian and that Kashmir is not just a god damned fabric!